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If Cars Were
Computers.....
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At a recent
computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer
industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept
up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would
all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating, "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we
would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
- For no reason whatsoever,
your car would crash twice a day.
- Every time they painted
new lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
- Occasionally your car would
die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over
to the side of the road, close all of
the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows
before you could continue--for some reason you would simply
accept this.
- Occasionally, executing a maneuver
such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse
to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
- Only one person at a time could
use the car unless you bought "Car NT," but
then you would have to buy more seats.
- Macintosh would make a car that
was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and
twice as easy to drive -- but it would only run on five percent
of the roads.
- The oil, water temperature and
alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single
"general protection fault" warning light.
- The airbag system would ask,
"Are you sure?" before deploying.
- Occasionally, for no reason
whatsoever, you car would lock you out and refuse to let you
in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the
key and grabbed hold of the antenna.
- GM would require all car buyers
to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally Road maps
(now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need nor want
them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause
the car's performance to diminish by 50 percent or more. Moreover,
GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
- Every time GM introduced a new
car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again
because none of the controls would operate in the same manner
as the old car.
- You'd have to press the "start"
button to turn the engine off.
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