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Few giggles

10 Laws of computer

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to  happen.
 
2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.
 
3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you'd least expect to find it.
 
4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.
 
5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
 
6. To err is human...to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, its downright natural.
 
7. He who laughs last, probably has a back-up.
 
8. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
 
9. A complex system that doesn't work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
 
10. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.

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Times Have Changed

20 years Ago.............

A program was..... a television show
An application was.... for employment
Windows were..... something you hated to clean
A cursor.... used profanity
A keyboard was.... a piano
Memory was.... something you lost with age
A CD was... a bank account
And if you had a 3 ½ floppy you hoped no one found out
If you unzipped in public you went to jail
Compress was something you did to garbage
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
Log on was adding wood to a fire
A backup happened to your toilet
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
Cut you did with scissors
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu!!!

TIMES SURE HAVE CHANGED!

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Email Forever

A jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft.  The HR manager interviewed him, then a test: clean the floor. "You are engaged" he said, give me your e-mail address, and I'll send you the application to fill, as well as when you will start.  The man replied " I don't have a computer, neither an email"  I'm sorry, said the HR manager, if you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job.  The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only 10US$ in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10 Kg tomato crate.  He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times and returned home with 60 US$. The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late.  Thus, his money doubles or triples every day.  Shortly later, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles. 5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the U.S. He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance. He called an insurance broker, and choose a protection plan.  When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied: ' I don't have an email'.  The broker replied curiously, you don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Do you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!!  The man thought for a while, and replied: an office boy at Microsoft! 

The moral of this story

M1- Internet is not the solution to your life.
M2- If you don't have internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.
M3- If you received this message by email, you are closer to be an office boy, rather than a millionaire. 

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