A man comes home from an exhausting day
at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television,
and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts."
The wife sighs and gets him a beer.
Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer
before it starts."
She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it
down next to him.
He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick,
get me another beer, it's going to start any minute."
The wife is furious. She yells at him, "Is that all
you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front
of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob,
and furthermore . . ."
The man sighs and says, "It's started .. . "
********
Concerned husband goes to see the family
doctor and says, "I think my wife is deaf because
she never hears me the first time I say something, in
fact, I often have to repeat things over and over again."
"Well," the doctor replies, "go home and
tonight and stand about 15 feet from her and say something.
If she doesn't reply, move about five feet closer and
say it again. Keep doing this so we can get an idea about
the severity of her deafness."
Sure enough, the husband goes home and does exactly as
instructed. He starts off about 15 feet from his wife
in the kitchen and as she is chopping some vegetables,
he says, "Honey, what's for dinner?" He gets
no response. He moves about five feet closer and asks
again. No reply. He moves five feet closer. Still no reply.
He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch
away, and asks again, "Honey, what's for dinner?"
She replies, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew!"