That peal of laughter hit me like a stone.  Those boys were in a group at a shop door on the other side of the road.  I felt convinced that they were laughing at me.  So I pedaled harder and harder goading the bicycle to take me away from that spot as fast as possible.

It was not the first time it had happened to me.  The other day when I went to the library, another group of boys were laughing – quite definitely at me.

I had been living with similar feelings all my life.  I was always convinced that for some reason or other strange people ridicule me, play practical jokes at my expense and laugh at me.  I would make some excuse or other for not going out or keep on postponing the time when I eventually have to leave the protection of my home.  When it becomes no longer avoidable I would go out in a rush and dash back again at the earliest possible opportunity.

This constant anxiety led to my interest in psychology, human behaviour and mental health.  I ended up with ‘group therapy’.  Including the two therapists, eight in the group, I was told, was the ideal number.  This would not make anyone feel ‘too exposed’ nor will it give the opportunity for the shy to hide in a corner behind someone else.

One by one each one of us introduced ourselves and told the rest of the group what our specific problem was.  It came to my turn. I do not know how, but I managed to stand up and do what was expected of me.  I felt rather proud of that later.

“So you feel that everyone is looking at you ?” repeated the therapist in a wise tone.

“Yes they do” I replied.

“Do you look at them ?” asked the wise therapist.

What a stupid question, I thought, but replied “I told you that I feel nervous about looking at people”

“If you don’t look at the other person, how do you know he or she is looking at you ?” asked the clever clod.

I came here to get help.  All this fellow is attempting to do is to take the micky of me - just like everyone else.  I should walk out rather than listen to this arrogant idiot, I thought.

“You would rather walk out now, wouldn’t you ?” he was asking.

Hey this fellow is too big for his boots.  Is he a mind reader also ?, I thought.

“No I am not a mind reader but I can anticipate certain thoughts in other people.  This is not the first time that I have been involved in a similar situation”, he said.

“I am not trying to belittle you or make you feel inferior.  All that I would like you to fully understand is that this is not the first time that I am faced with a clinical problem like what you experience and you should not feel that only you in this world has got a problem of this sort”.

“We can sit and discuss at length why you have got this problem – till the cows come home as they say”.

‘Till the cows come home !  What is this chap talking about?  Does he think I am a shepherd?’

“What would be more productive would be to look at it in a practical way.  There is a problem – a difficulty.  It is interfering with that person’s daily life.  In what way can the effect be reduced if not completely removed.  That is what we need to look at”.

He went on:  “Anxiety is a common experience.  All of us have experienced it at some stage or other and more than once.  Anxiety is a positive phenomenon.  It prepares you to face a new situation or a threat.  It prepares you for a fight or flight reaction.  If a small dog is trying to bite you threatening it and chasing it off may be a possible reaction.  But if a powerful tiger is about to pounce on you flight would be more appropriate”.

“For most humans now the immediate environment is relatively safe.  When you leave home for shopping you do not have to carry swords and guns to fight off robbers and enemies.  You do not have to keeping on looking round to spot traps.  Some might say that the motorized traffic has replaced the armed gangs of thieves and robbers”.

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